3 Life Lessons From SpongeBob Squarepants

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Coffee. Puppies. Spongebob Squarepants.

This is my definition of the ideal Sunday morning. Slowly waking up to the gurgling of the coffee maker and the sweet aroma of fresh-brewed French Roast; the sight of my two dogs, Coco and Cece, eagerly waiting for permission to get on the bed; and tuning in to Nickelodeon for a few episodes of Spongebob Squarepants.

Spongebob Squarepants is about the cockamamie adventures of a sea-dwelling buck-toothed anthropomorphic sponge. He lives in a pineapple in the underwater metropolis of Bikini Bottom, with a pet snail named Gary, Squidward Tentacles his chronically cranky neighbor (and comic foil), and a pink starfish sidekick named Patrick. He works as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab, a greasy-spoon restaurant owned by Eugene Krabs, going through life with youthful exuberance.

I’m a huge Spongebob Squarepants fan, and probably watch more Spongebob than the average six year old (it helps that Nickelodeon runs an endless number of episodes during the day). It’s not high-brow entertainment, and humor is a combination slapstick and absurdist, consisting of one silly scene after another… perfect for those with viewing patience like mine. Created by artist and former marine biologist, Stephen Hillenburg, the show is one of the most popular cartoons on Nickelodeon, consistently ranking in the Top 10 in the Nielsen ratings, recipient of six Emmy nominations and winner of five Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice awards.

Amid all his misadventures, Spongebob never ceases to find the positives in any given situation. He is the epitome of friendliness, enthusiasm and resilience – the very picture of “Zen” happiness. And he’s the cartoon character I most relate to. An online “personality test” confirms this. A few weeks ago, my girlfriend Brenda sent me a “personality test” with a series of questions asking for my preferences in dates, movies, music, etc. Anyone scoring 29-35 points resembles Spongebob Squarepants. I scored 30 points.

According to the description: You are the classic person that everyone loves.  You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose.  You never cause harm to anyone and they would never misunderstand your feelings. Life is a journey, it’s funny and calm for the most part.

Ehem. Okay, even if this (admittedly fatuous) crackpot test isn’t true, I’d say I’m still “sponge worthy,” opting to see the sunny side of things and finding humor in every day life. David Myers, author of The Pursuit of Happiness, says that “Happiness is rather like cholesterol level – influenced genetically, but also by things we can do.” Often, when I start to feel sad, I self-medicate by watching hours of cartoons and comedy. Laughter really is the best medicine.

With the holiday season coming up, laughter and lightheartedness becomes even more important. Work, shopping, cleaning, visiting relatives, wrapping presents, and the slew of dizzying chores can be overwhelming, sometimes resulting in strain and gloominess. The Mayo Clinic identifies three main trigger points for holiday stress and depression: relationships, finances, and physical/emotional demands. The lack of relationships can lead to loneliness, while being around a continuous stream of family and friends can be exasperating. Whereas some folks overspend during the holidays, others feel guilt for not having enough resources to buy that “perfect” gift. And finally, fleeting from mall to mall, and party to party, can simply wipe us out. To ensure happy holidays, perhaps we can all take a cue from Spongebob.

First, become a friendlier person.

Spongebob has a knack for remembering the names of Krusty Krab patrons, and never fails to acknowledge people he passes on the street. Author and psychologist William James once said that, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.” But often, we are so consumed with receiving validation that we forget to dish it out – we focus on being loveable instead of being loving. Sincere appreciation costs us nothing to give, and means the world to those who receive it. Not flattery – sincere appreciation and recognition, which can come from a simple smile, a greeting, and a genuine interest in the other person. And in becoming friendlier, begin with nurturing existing relationships. Bonus points: studies have shown that those in intimate relationships – both men and women – have lower death rates than single people.

Next, live with enthusiasm.

Spongebob starts each day with the mantra “I’mmm ready!  I’mmm ready!”  Whether he is flipping Krabby patties or chasing after jellyfish, Spongebob tackles everything with enthusiasm and maximizes the fun in any endeavor. Aristotle called enthusiasm “the regenerative force of conviction.” It is a manifestation of confidence, positive attitude, and optimism.

Perhaps the best description of enthusiasm is its Greek root word entheos, “having the god within,” from en, “in, within,” and theos, “god.” Inner fire is infectious and can be the difference between mediocre and magnificent. Live with enthusiasm, and learn how to arouse enthusiasm in others. Remember that “a candle loses nothing of it’s light by lighting another candle.”

Finally, develop emotional resilience.

Regardless of what trouble Spongebob finds himself in, he remains positive and resilient. Even international leadership training organizations think that Spongebob is a good character to emulate. Using the model created by Daniel Goldman, author of Emotional Intelligence and Primal Leadership, researchers from the Hay Group in the United Kingdom evaluated Spongebob’s emotional astuteness and determined that while IQ-wise, he is not the sharpest, he possesses a high level of EQ, or Emotional Intelligence. Consistently demonstrating integrity and empathy, Spongebob is flexible and adaptable in his approach to adversity, trudging forward despite difficulties and setbacks.

This holiday season, if you ever find the need for a quick jolt of cheer, tune in to Nickelodeon and watch an episode or two of Spongebob Squarepants, a positive role model for adults and kids alike. And Happy Holidays!

The CLIFT: Hip Hotel Meets Mod Museum

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(Originally published in Gastronomique en Vogue – 12/2/13)

Clift Hotel FacadeAfter battling the Dreamforce gridlock in SoMa, I manage to find my way to the CLIFT hotel on Geary and Taylor. I step through the hotel’s lavender vestibule, and finally relax. It’s 4:45pm, and I have about 15 minutes to check-in, drop off my bag, and meander over to the Redwood Room for welcome cocktails with Ward Childs, CLIFT’s General Manager, and Catherine Hunter of Wagstaff Worldwide, our hosts for the evening.

Located in the heart of the theater district just a few steps from Union Square and minutes away from Nob Hill and Moscone Center, the CLIFT hotel is the ideal home base for a weekend of sightseeing, shopping and socializing in San Francisco. I am here for the Winter FAM event, a mini-getaway honoring the changing of the seasons, organized for local journalists by Wagstaff Worldwide and the Morgans Hotel Group. Established in New York in 1984 by Ian Schrager and Steve Rubell (most infamous for founding Studio 54), Morgans Hotel Group is the originator of the boutique hotel concept.

Ward explains, “Ian and Steve wanted to create the anti-hotel. They didn’t want big and stuffy… more like the boutique shops of Madison Ave. Smaller spaces, more intimate environment, more engaging. Really focusing on lifestyle, and speaking to lovers of art, fashion and music.”

The Big Arm Chair - Philippe StarckTake the CLIFT’s lobby, imagined by Schrager himself along with prolific French designer Philippe Starck who is best known for his fluid forms and playful style. With soaring ceilings and a club-like vibe, the space boasts the most eclectic and expensive collection of chairs in California: $2.5 million worth, including Starck’s $750,000 Big Arm Chair. “It costs $70,000 a year to re-upholster it,” adds Ward. Understandably so, since it’s one of the most sat upon and photographed chairs in the space.

The CLIFT’s lobby is also home to a quirky collection of funky, fantastical (and very pricey) furniture, featuring chairs from Ray and Charles Eames, an “egg” coffee table — one of three in the world — and “melting” lamp by Salvador Dali, a surreal stool by Renee Marguerite, and bronze octopus-like custom-made chair by William Saway (Ward refers to it as the “juicer” chair). Anchoring the space is the thirty-five-foot fireplace with a Bronze chimney sculpture by Gerard Garouste. “It’s all very Beetlejuice,” I muse. One thing you won’t find here, however, is a clock. To aid with decompression, I later find out.

Velvet RoomWard, who has been with the hotel 2 ½ years, continues to regale us with the CLIFT Hotel’s storied past. “The hotel will be 100 years old in 2015. It’s the city’s first earthquake-proof hotel. Did you know this used to be a Ritz Carlton?” he asks. He proceeds to talk about the Redwood Room, CNN’s pick as one of the Top 15 Hotel Bars in the World. Established in 1934, the dark-paneled walls and 75-foot mirrored bar of the Redwood Room is said to have been carved from a single 2000-year old Redwood tree. An ever-changing array of digital art displayed on framed plasma screens adorn the walls, including 90-second animated loops created by Design Paris.

“When Schrager and Rubell took over the property, there was an outburst among the locals, as they feared their beloved Redwood Room would be turned into another Studio 54,” Ward exclaims. After the $50 million makeover, the entire community heaved a huge sigh of relief, as Schrager retained the original structure and warmth, albeit infusing a bit of whimsy, outfitting the space with furnishings fashioned by Starck.

At 6:00pm, we are shepherd into the Velvet Room next door to sample some of Thomas Weibull’s creations. Clad in floor to ceiling velvet drapes, the dramatic Velvet Room features mahogany leather banquettes and hand-blown Murano glass lamps.

KurobutaPorkThere are twelve of us at dinner, with Catherine seated at the head of the table. Soon, the dishes start arriving: Kale & Frisee Salad with a Roasted Garlic Vinaigrette, Acadia Blue Mussels with Smoked Bacon and Cream, Catalan Albondigas with Shaved Manchego, Roasted Bone Marrow with Pickled Shallot Marmalade, Grilled Flatbread with Fontina and Mushroom, and Crisp Truffle Fries. And that’s just to whet the palate. For my main course, I feast on the Maple Braised Kurobuta Pork Short Rib served with Smoked Bacon Cheddar Grits and Spiced Apple Compote, while my husband enjoys a Pan-Roasted Rib-eye.

One thing on the menu no one thought to order is the Buttermilk Fried Chicken with Green Bean salad, seemingly out of place among the haute cuisine entrees. But such is the genius of Weibull. Trained at Kristineberg Hotel & Restaurant School in Sweden, Weibull has worked at some of the top restaurants in San Francisco, including One Market, Aqua, Rubicon and Plouf. Initially drawn to the history and vision of Morgans Hotel Group, and specifically CLIFT, Weibull felt uniquely suited to make the shift from restaurant service to a hotel food and beverage format. “I think it has a lot to do with the way I was educated,” Weibull says of the transition. “It really helps that I was taught to do what I do in Europe, all of my schooling had a definite hospitality flare – a quality that is emphasized in institutions overseas.”

As the last of the dinner plates are cleared, Catherine reminds us that we are on a time line, as part of the Winter Adventure includes orchestra tickets to the eight o’clock showing of Peter and the Star Catcher at the Curran Theater. Soon dessert arrives, a sampling of Warm Chocolate Brioche, Strawberry Cheesecake and Baba Au Rum with Chantilly Cream, which our party devours quickly.

Luckily, Curran Theater is just next door, a mere two minute walk. Based on the book by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson, Peter and the Star Catcher is dubbed as a grown-up prequel to Peter Pan. The set is very bare, with only two scene changes. Elements like squeaky doors, cramped sleeping quarters and a giant alligator are merely suggested. There is no orchestra. Just a piano player and a one-man band/sound-effects creator on a raised platform above stage left.

The Living RoomCatherine reminds us that she will be at the Living Room around 11:00 p.m. if we’d like to join her for a late-night drink. We get back to the CLIFT at 10:45 p.m. I am unable to rally and partake of a nightcap, too exhausted from the excitement of the day. I sink into the feather-soft bed, surrounding myself with an avalanche of pillows, and quickly doze off.

I am awoken the following morning by hammering noises. It’s 7:00 a.m. I take a peek out of the window and discover there is some construction going on two floors down. The sun is out, and my room is bathed in a warm glow. Time to get the day started.

This morning’s agenda includes breakfast with the CLIFT’s Director of Sales and Marketing, Carolyn Yim, inside the Spanish Suite, followed by an “ethos tour” headed by Hotel Manager Matthew Hittleman. Ethos, which means characteristic spirit or essence, aptly describes the tour, as Matthew expertly and passionately describes the ethos of the design, from entry vestibule to wall color choices.

Matthew reveals that the color of the guest room walls was specially concocted by Starck, who also custom-designed each piece of furniture. The muted-sand tone acts like a chameleon, changing hues depending on the time of day and the angle of the sun.

Ice Skating at Union SquareAnd while most of the hotel and furnishings was designed by Starck, two areas were left in the able hands of Ralph Lauren: the East Geary Lounge and the Living Room, located right off the lobby. Both spaces are noticeably more subdued, with low leather sofas, club chairs and dark wood furniture evocative of an English hunting lodge. Surrounding the walls of the Living Room are 287 black-and-white animal prints by Jean Baptiste Mondino.

As the tour comes to a close, Catherine invites everyone to join her for the last activity of the day: skating at the Union Square Holiday Ice Rink. It’s a quick two-block jaunt to Union Square, a 2.6 acre public plaza surrounded by upscale department stores, hip hotels, boutiques, and art galleries. As Catherine and the rest of the crew lace up their skates, I explore the rest of the plaza, taking photos of the 80-foot Christmas tree and the 97-foot monument dedicated to Admiral Dewey’s victory at the Battle of Manila Bay.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. We head back to the CLIFT just before 2:00 p.m. and bid our adieus. And as I drive away, I am reminded of what Matthew said: “Our mission is to forge emotional connections and form lasting relationships. If I’m not doing that, then I’m not doing my job.” In that, he succeeded, as I am left with nothing but a sense of awe and admiration for the CLIFT, and for all the people who made our mini-getaway a memorable one.

 

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Matthew Hittleman’s Favorite View at the CLIFT Hotel

Thanksgiving Traditions

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Tahoe Cabin

Since 1994, Thanksgiving for my family has meant trekking through the winding roads of the Sierras for opening day at Heavenly Ski Resort in South Lake Tahoe. We all crowd into my parent’s van, my dad at the wheel, and leave late Wednesday evening to get a head-start on the long weekend.

Upon moving to California in the early 90’s, my brothers and I immediately took to skiing.  Although my parents don’t ski, we started an annual family tradition of renting a cabin up in the mountains to house all six of us (plus any stray friends that showed up). While we hit the slopes, my parents hit the nickel slots at Bill’s casino.

In 1997, my parents bought a quaint cabin amid towering pines in South Lake Tahoe, with a steep gabled roof and a totally 70’s interior. From its thick red shag carpet to faux wood paneling, this place was a real throwback to the days of bell-bottoms and platform shoes. Thanksgiving at the “Macabenta Manor” in Tahoe became an instant tradition among our friends, with my parents playing host to a houseful of rowdy twenty-somethings. We’ve been known to stuff as many as 25 people in this three bedroom/two bath. Everyone pitched in with the chores, from grocery shopping to doing the laundry, and making sure the place was spic-and-span before we left.

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All hands were on deck for Thanksgiving dinner preparations. Our meal was usually casual – no sit down dinners or fancy silverware here – but always substantial, sometimes consisting of store-bought turkey complemented by a never-ending stream of mama’s home cookin’, and of course, steamed rice. C’mon… what true-blooded Pinoy in their right mind would ever serve meat without rice?

Having been born and raised in the Philippines, Thanksgiving Dinners weren’t part of my family’s tradition. It is, after all, a specifically “American” holiday. (Okay, so other countries have their own versions of thanksgiving and fall harvest celebrations, but in the United States, we’re specifically talking about the holiday begun by the Pilgrims in 1621 and declared official by Abraham Lincoln in 1863).

Even after moving to the United States, we didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving with the same flourish that we did Easter and Christmas. It was just another three-day weekend, another reason to get together with family and friends for a fabulous feast, and for my brothers to raucously watch every conceivable sporting event on television.
After I got married, Thanksgiving took on new meaning, although it no longer involved an annual ski trip to Tahoe. But that’s what happens when you have a life partner – where they overlap, your own customs and traditions either supersede or yield to those of your spouse, or elements of both are incorporated to create new ones.

Fortunately, my new Thanksgiving tradition – this time flying up to visit with my husband’s family in Seattle – still includes a never-ending stream of home cookin’, this time courtesy of my Welsh/English/German in-laws, with mashed potatoes standing in for steamed rice. From mom Judi’s plump juicy turkey to dad Gary’s from-scratch apple pies to sis Jane’s super-sweet baklava, there’s plenty to be thankful for at the Dunham dinner table.

Sometimes, I do miss the sardine-tight Thanksgiving weekends with my family at the cabin, but I’m happy to be starting new traditions with my husband. So as we celebrate the season of giving thanks (and the beginning of the holiday shopping extravaganza), let’s not forget that this celebration, and many others throughout the year, is all about being with family and friends.

5 Stages of a Female’s Life

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One of my childhood friends, Patricia, recently sent me a hilarious email about the 5 Stages of a Female’s Life:

  • Ÿ  Stage 1 – To Grow Up
  • Ÿ  Stage 2 – To Fill Out
  • Ÿ  Stage 3 – To Slim Down
  • Ÿ  Stage 4 – To Hold It In
  • Ÿ  Stage 5 – To Hell With It

Had a little fun with Piktochart to come up with the Infographic below. Enjoy!

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Why Aging is a Disease, not an Inevitability

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ElderlyWomenThere are three distinct ways to measure someone’s age: chronological age, as dictated by the calendar; biological age, as evidenced by your physical appearance and health; and psychological age, as determined by how old you feel.

So when I turned the big 3-0, I kept telling everyone that while I may be chronologically 30 years old, biologically and psychologically, I was still 21. You see, I had just read “Ageless Body, Timeless Mind” by Dr. Deepak Chopra, who discussed the “three ages of man” in his book. According to Dr. Chopra, aging was a choice. I had control over two of the three measures of age, meditation being the solution to reversing biology. Sold!!! I continued to believe this, and every year thereafter celebrated the anniversary of my 21st birthday, laughing at the calendar and celebrating like a debutante.

And then my husband decided to start a family. I had just turned 37 and (hoping that meditation had worked its wonders) still held the idea that while chronologically 37, I was biologically much younger. There was no doubt that I was psychologically juvenile, but boy, was I wrong about my body. After two failed attempts at IVF (invitro fertilization) and learning the truth about age and fertility, I wished I hadn’t been so cocky and delusional in my early thirties. Darned Deepak!

Read the rest of this entry

Ladder of Success

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Came across this quote today on one of my old presentations. I don’t remember where I got it, or who originally said it. The presentation was about envisioning success. In my notes, I wrote “Personal vision is the ability to see beyond our present reality, to create, to invent what does not yet exist, to become what we not yet are. It gives us the ability to live out of our imagination instead of our memory.” And ended with this quote:

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Positive Mental Attitude

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Smiling-Little-Leaguer-The-SociaholicOn the first session of my Dale Carnegie Sales Advantage class, I will often tell the participants that while they will hear exactly the same thing from me, read the same material, and participate in the same exercises, their attitude will determine how much they will benefit from the training. As Lou Holtz says, “Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”

Positive mental attitude is so important that Laurence Gonzales, contributing editor for National Geographic and author of the book Deep Survival, states that in AirForce Survival Training and in Military Bootcamp, “Positive Mental Attitude (PMA)” is the first item on the checklist. He says that PMA is the single most critical factor in determining who survives and who dies.

And there’s no doubt: maintaining a positive mental attitude allows us to recognize the opportunities in every situation.

And so as we embark on the New Year, let me leave you with a quick story:

A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat. “I’m the greatest hitter in the world,” he announced. Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.

“Strrrrriiiiiiike One!” he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed. “Strrrrrriiiiiiike Two!” he cried.

The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, “I’m the greatest hitter in the world!” Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. “Strrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiike Three!”

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!”